The clouds growled with thunder,
threatening to open their contents and soak the world below with water.
Overhead the autumn sky was dark and dreary, perfectly matching Lyra’s mood as
she walked down the pavement. She barely noticed the solemn arch in front of
her, too absorbed in her thoughts.
It had been five years since that night. Could it really already be
so long? When exactly had the years gone by? She couldn’t remember. The pain
had dulled, but there were still times she wanted to turn to her dad for
advice, only to remember that he was no longer there to give her any answers.
The graveyard was quiet for the most part,
most of the people sensibly staying inside and out of the wind. But it was the
anniversary of her dad’s death, and she had already put off visiting for far
too long, so here she was; doing the not-so-sensible thing of walking in the biting
wind at a time most people already started preparing for the night, all on her
own in a forlorn cemetery. At least it wasn’t raining.
Her steps faltered slightly as she rounded
the corner and her dad’s grave came into sight. There was another person
braving the windy night, completely lost in his thoughts as he stared at the
grave. The oh-so-hated scar on his cheek glared at Lyra, reminding her that he
had just as much right to be here as she did. The scar had faded with time, but
Lyra knew it would never disappear completely.
She didn’t acknowledge him as she
approached the grave. There were two bouquets of flowers present, indicating
that someone other than the two of them had already visited as well. Almost
reverently, she laid the flowers in her hand on the grave to join the other
bouquets and stepped back, joining her brother in silent contemplation. His
eyes were shuttered, and Lyra wasn’t entirely sure he had even noticed her
presence. It didn’t take a genius to notice he was still silently blaming
himself for the events of that night.
The hand squeezing her shoulder informed
her that he wasn’t as oblivious to her presence as he appeared. She hadn’t seen
him in ages, and if it was anybody else she would’ve drawn away, but they had
been rather close at a stage in their lives, and in that moment they were
united by their mutual sorrow.
It was several moments before Renard pulled
himself far enough out of his thoughts to acknowledge Lyra’s presence.
“Been a while,” he stated casually, his
eyes still studying the granite in front of them and his hands retreating back
into his pockets. “How’ve you been?”
She gave him a wry smile. “Fine,” she replied.
“I’ve been…fine.”
“Good. That’s good,” he nodded and fell
silent again.
It was like a conversation between
strangers that had absolutely no common interests. They stood in awkward
silence, neither one of them knowing what to talk about. They had simply
drifted too far apart from each other.
It was sad, Lyra thought, considering how
much he once meant to her. How special he still was. But they had both continued on with their lives, and that same
camaraderie that had once caused them to prank their sister together no longer
existed.
“And
you?” Lyra asked after a while, desperate to keep the conversation flowing.
“How have you and Ingrid been?” Renard had married his high school girlfriend
several years previously in a quiet, private ceremony. Needless to say, Arienne
hadn’t been present at the event.
He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Not much
to say,” he replied. “Can’t say we have any complaints. She’s…started to talk
about children though.”
That instantly had Lyra’s attention.
Renard, a father? What a strange thought. She supposed it had to happen
eventually, but for some reason she had simply never thought about it. Thinking
about Renard and children was like thinking about a terrible disaster in the
making. Of course, he could’ve grown more responsible since Lyra had last seen
him – probably had – but Lyra simply
couldn’t compute the thought.
Renard and children…just didn’t go together.
“What a scary thought,” she murmured.
The words caused Renard to laugh. The sound
wasn’t quite like Lyra remembered it, but it was still refreshing to hear. In
the days between their dad’s death and the day she had last seen him (which,
coincidently, had been the day he had gotten married), she had never heard him
laugh even once. Of course, she hadn’t seen him much, but still.
“That’s been more or less my reaction too,
yes,” he agreed, an amused smile playing on his lips. “I’d be a horrible dad.”
“Well, at least you have a great example to
follow,” Lyra murmured, her eyes fixed on the grave in front of them.
His eyes immediately shuttered again and
the smile fell from his lips.
“Yeah, I guess,” he replied softly and
retreated back into his thoughts again.
They fell into silence again, and Lyra took
the chance to study the bouquets on the grave, wondering where the second one
came from. It had to be either her mother, or Arienne, but she wasn’t entirely
sure. She’d been drifting slightly away from her mother as well, choosing to
spend more time at Edwin’s place than at her own house. She still hadn’t
officially moved in with him though, even if they had been dating for almost
three years now. She didn’t want to leave her mother entirely alone in the
house.
“Arienne,”
Renard murmured softly and gestured at the flowers Lyra was staring at with a
slight tilt of his chin. “She left just as I arrived.” He clenched his jaw and
a muscle jumped in his cheek. “We had…words,” Renard admitted, his eyes pained
and distant.
Lyra sighed internally. So the feud was
still going strong.
“Not of the good kind, I gather,” she stated
softly. He clenched his jaw again and gave a terse shake of his head.
“Not of the good kind, no,” he agreed
tersely.
This time Lyra sighed audibly. As much as
she loved her sister, there were times she wished Arienne would stop being such
a self-centred little bitch. Her continued insistence to treat their brother
like some kind of criminal irritated the hell out of Lyra. It would be so much
easier to fix her family’s bonds if the older girl (woman now, really) just
stopped with her damn stubborn streak.
“Anyway,” Renard said, drawing Lyra’s
thoughts back to the present, “I have to get going; I’m on duty tonight. It was
nice to see you again. We should catch up sometime soon.”
Yeah, like that was going to happen, Lyra mused.
The moment he walked away he’d probably forget all about his family, making
absolutely no effort to stay in contact. Just like he had done all these years.
“Yeah, sure,” she said without enthusiasm,
lifting her hand in farewell. “See you.”
He gave her a tight, small smile before
walking away, leaving her to once more stand alone in the wind.
The sky had started clearing, but in return
the cold wind had become even stronger. Lyra pulled her jacket closer against
her shoulders. She was going to get chilled to the bone if she stayed much
longer.
“Things would’ve been so much simpler if
you were still here,” she murmured to the silent grave, her eyes studying the
familiar words engraved in the stone. The grave remained silent, just like she
had expected it to. She laughed softly, amused by her own thoughts. “Maybe I
just need to get away for a bit; go somewhere far away from here,” she joked.
“Maybe then when I come back, everything will just be magically fixed.” She
snorted. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if problems could be fixed liked that?
She smiled and turned away, walking down
the pavement back to the exit, and back to the present. She still missed her
dad immensely, but she had learned how to live in the present. The ghosts were
still there, but they no longer held her captive. Time had definitely dulled
the pain.
The wind was howling by the time she
returned home, but the moment she reached the little valley her house was
located in the worst of the wind was cut off by the mountains, leaving her
feeling warm and sheltered. She entered the house in a much better mood than
she had expected she would.
To her surprise, the house wasn’t silent
and empty tonight. Tonight, she almost couldn’t hear the ticking of the clock
over the music coming from the stereo, and from the direction of the kitchen
she could clearly hear voices. For a change her mother was actually at home and
not out working, but it was the second voice that really surprised Lyra.
Talk of the devil and she shall appear.
Arienne was talking to their mother, her
posture relaxed and happy. Lyra felt a flash of irritation at the sight. It
wasn’t fair for Arienne to be so carefree, not after she had caused Renard so
much pain.
“Huh. Look who deigned to grace us with her
presence,” Lyra stated snidely, leaning against the door threshold. Arienne
looked at her with a slight scowl on her face, her good mood instantly
disrupted. It was then Lyra noticed the tear streaks on her sister's face, and
the tightness around her eyes.
“Girls,” their mother warned them before Arienne
could respond to the insult. She huffed and turned back to their mother. For
one of the few times in her life, Lyra didn't push the issue. The smudged
mascara brought back memories she'd rather not think about.
"It's okay, I have to go home anyway,"
Arienne said with averted eyes, standing up from the table. "We're having
dinner with Max's parents tonight, so he's waiting for me."
The retort was out of Lyra's mouth before
she could stop it.
"Oh, so you have dinner with your
husband's parents, but not with us. I didn't realise we mean this little to
you."
Inwardly, she berated herself. She hadn't
meant to say that. Her family was already messed up enough - she didn't need to
exacerbate the situation.
The corners around Arienne's eyes
tightened.
"What I do with my time has nothing to
do with you, Lyra," she retorted bitterly. "And have you ever stopped
to consider that maybe it's this exact attitude of yours that makes me not want
to spend time with you? I don't have to listen to your barbs, Lyra. I have
enough crap in my life already." She shot Lyra a glare and walked out of
the room, and several seconds later, Lyra heard her close the front door behind
her.
Her mother gave an exasperated sigh, making
Lyra feel even worse. Why, oh why, couldn't she just keep her mouth
shut?
"Honestly, Lyra, that was completely
uncalled for," her mother berated her. The words caused irritation to rise
in Lyra's chest. She already knew it, dammit. She didn't need anyone to tell
her.
"Whatever," she retorted with a
scowl, her previous good mood completely disrupted. "What the hell is her
issue in anyway?"
Her mother fixed her with a pointed stare.
"Shouldn't you be the one asked
that?" she asked pointedly.
The last bit of Lyra's temper snapped at
the question. She got it already. She was a horrible person who only
managed to fuck up everything around her.
"Fine, I get it," she snapped at
her mother. "I'll go, since I'm clearly not welcome here." She
turned on her heel and marched out of the house, scarcely noticing where she
was going. The moment she stepped out the house, the raging gusts of wind
immediately made her regret her decision, but her pride wouldn't let her go
back. Instead, she set a course for Edwin's house, hoping he wasn't out.
"Is something wrong?" Edwin asked
her when she arrived at his house and sank unto his couch with a sigh. She
dropped her head on his shoulder and soaked in his warmth, calmed and comforted
by his presence.
"Fight with my mom and sister,"
she murmured softly, inexplicably tired out by her outburst. Edwin made a noise
of agreement and wordlessly wrapped his arm around her.
"It happens," he comforted her.
"If it's any solace, I had to flee from my mother as well. She simply
wouldn't stop with the annoying questions." Lyra smiled slightly at
his statement, understanding his pain. He didn't need to clarify which
questions he was referring to. Lyra herself had also been exposed to them,
numerous times. His mother so desperately wanted a daughter-in-law.
They sat in silence for some time, both of
them content to watch the scenes airing on the TV, merely enjoying each other's
presence. The story on the TV was a pretty terrible thriller called
'Sharks...on Land!', and before long, Lyra got swept up by the bad clichés and
corny dialogue.
"Plumbob, this is terrible," she
accused laughingly. "Why on earth are you watching this?"
Edwin flashed her a roguish grin at her
accusation.
"Because it's funny," he
admitted. "It's supposed to be scary, but as you can see, it's anything
but. I suppose it is gory," he conceded, "but the gore only makes it
funnier."
"You're right," Lyra agreed and
snuggled deeper into his side, settling down to watch the rest of the terrible
movie.
The next day dawned bright and clear,
bringing with it the promise of a warm and sunny day. It was a welcome change
from the dreary and rainy conditions that had plagued the town the last week or
so, so when Edwin suggested they spend the day at the beach, followed by a
picnic at their own special secluded spot, Lyra thought nothing of it and
immediately agreed.
Unfortunately, the water was way too cold
to swim in, so they moved to their spot quite early in the day, spending most
of the time just lazing around, simply soaking up the sun and talking about
nonconsequential things.
She should've seen it coming. She should've
known that it wasn't just any normal day; that Edwin had planned something
else, but she hadn't, so she was completely blindsided by his actions
when he finally offered her the little black box in the palm of his hand, his
eyes questioning.
"Marry me?" he asked softly,
hopefully, vulnerably.
She stared wordlessly at the ring, her
thoughts racing a mile a minute through her mind. Marriage? Was this
something she wanted? Sure, they had talked about it, but only in passing,
nothing serious. So, did she want to marry Edwin?
She didn't know.
Sure, she loved him (or at least, she thought
she did) and she enjoyed spending time with him, but marriage? Was
she truly ready for that?
Inadvertently, she wished the easy status
quo that had been between them could've remained. She didn't think she was
ready for this.
...Then again, wasn't that what their
entire relationship had been heading towards? The status quo between them had
been easy and comfortable, but it couldn't continue indefinitely. It had to end
sometime.
...And she did love him. Didn’t she?
She gave him a smile, ignoring the dread in
her heart at the thought of marriage, and nodded.
"Sure," she agreed, the words
sounding to her like it came from somebody else. "I'll marry you."
_~...~_
Needless to say, both Lyra's and Edwin's
mothers were ecstatic by the news. They both jumped into the wedding planning
process with eagerness, sometimes making decisions about the wedding that Lyra
herself definitely wouldn't have made.
For some reason though, Lyra simply
couldn't find the enthusiasm to join the planning process, so she simply
allowed her mother and mother-to-be to make the agreements, only occasionally
leaving an opinion. She did not want purple and yellow flowers at her
wedding, no matter how pretty her mother thought it was.
Far, far too soon, the day for the wedding
arrived. She stood in the antechamber of the wedding venue, waiting to go in.
Her two bridesmaids, Arienne and Lakisha, stood with her, making small talk
Lyra didn't listen to. For the first time in ages, Renard and Arienne were in
the same room without fighting, as Lyra had asked her brother to escort her in
and she had informed Arienne in no uncertain terms that she would not allow
them to fight at her wedding.
It did make the atmosphere slightly tense,
but Lyra wilfully ignored it. She had bigger things to worry about.
She wasn't ready to get married. She had
thought she was, but she wasn't. Her life had become that exact same
pattern she had so lamented about back in school, and she hated it. Get
a job, get married, have children? Wake up, change the screaming toddlers'
diapers, go to work, go to sleep, repeat? She didn't want that. She couldn't
let that be her life, but that was exactly what her life was steadily becoming.
She felt imprisoned, chained to a future she didn't want.
She wasn't ready to do this. She didn't want
to do it.
Renard cleared his throat, pulling her back
to reality. Arienne and Lakisha had already left the room, and Renard was
staring expectantly at her, clearly indicating that it was time to go in and get
married.
She couldn't do it.
"Renard..." she pleaded, silently
begging him to help her find a way out of this. He gave her only a single
glance before he pulled her into his arms, accurately guessing the reason for
her distress. She blinked back tears, afraid of smudging her makeup.
"Oh, Lyra," Renard sighed
despairingly, soothingly rubbing her back. "Don't tell me you're getting
cold feet now?"
"I can't do this, Renard," she
admitted, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "I feel like I'm about
to make the biggest mistake of my life, and I can't. I can't do it. I
can't marry him, Renard."
"Then why are you?" he asked her,
one eyebrow slightly lifted with confusion.
"Because...because I don't know,
okay?" she complained, her eyes burning. "I thought...I thought I
wanted this, I thought it was the right thing to do, and everybody was
expecting it - "
"When exactly," Renard
interrupted her tirade, "did you start adhering to expectations?"
The question left her struck silent. When had
she? It was expected of a couple to get married after a certain
amount of time had passed. She was expected to say yes. It was expected
of her to lead that kind of life.
It had never been something she
wanted for herself.
She felt giddy by the revelation, as if all
of the chains had been broken. She didn't need to get married. She was
still free to lead her life the way she wanted it to. It would devastate Edwin,
but she couldn't marry him.
"You're right," she agreed,
smiling peacefully for the first time in what felt like ages. "When
did I?" She looked at him and without saying anything, she knew he
understood. He knew what her decision was, but she still confirmed it verbally.
"Please, tell Edwin I'm sorry."
He smiled and gave her shoulders a squeeze
before he disappeared through the door, going to inform everyone that the
wedding was off.
She smiled as she was left alone in the
antechamber, feeling relaxed and carefree for the first time in months. From
the next room she heard a sudden increase in noise as Renard informed the groom
of the news she found so wonderful.
It wasn't long before Renard returned,
Edwin accompanying him dejectedly. The look Edwin gave her was heart-breaking,
but Lyra stubbornly stuck to her decision, squaring her shoulders and looking
at him with determination in her eyes. She didn't even notice when Renard
slipped out of the room to give them some privacy.
"Tell me, Edwin," she asked,
breaking the air before he could ask why. "Do you think we would've been
happy together - truly happy?"
He frowned slightly at the question, caught
off-guard by her interruption.
"Of course we can be," he argued,
his voice laden with confusion. "Why on earth would you think
otherwise?"
The question made her smile. He didn't get
it. He'd never get it. It only served to reinforce her decision. The person he
wanted to marry, to spend the rest of his life with...it wasn't Lyra. It never
had been her. He'd only loved her as an idea.
"I see," she replied with a
small, carefree smile. "Because I don't, Edwin, and the fact that you
don't get it means we never will." She turned on her heel to go home, but
he grabbed her wrist, preventing her from completing the movement.
"Just what the hell do you mean with
that?" he asked her with a scowl. "Talk to me, Lyra. What is
it that I don't get? Why do you say we'll never be happy together? Look, I
understand if you don't want to marry me, but will you at least give me
a reason why?"
"Because," Lyra replied gently,
quietly removing his hand from her wrist, "what I want from life and what
you want from life are two entirely different things. I'm not the right woman
for you, Edwin. I'll never be happy with you, and I'll never be able to make
you happy either, and I don't want either of us to have that kind of
life."
He still didn't get it. His eyes were heavy
with confusion, and there was no sign of comprehension anywhere on his face.
"I don't understand," he
complained. "I mean, we've been happy so far, haven't we?"
"So far," she agreed without
hesitation, "but it's not going to last. The time we spent together was
wonderful and amazing, but it's not going to stay that way. Eventually things
will change, and all it will result in is that one of us is going to get
chained into a life we won't be happy with. I know you want the typical Sunset
Valley life, with a gaggle of children one day gathering around your feet and a
loving wife to welcome you home each day with dinner waiting on the table, but
that wife will not be me. I don't want that life, Edwin, I don't. Not now, not
in ten years' time, not in a hundred years' time. Never. And the
fact that I don't want it and you do, means that we'll never be happy.
You need someone who wants to have the same kind of life you want, and I'll
never be that woman, Edwin. I cannot be that woman."
The emotions flickering through his eyes
made her feel like a dog. It was clear that he didn't agree with her. Hurt and
anger and confusion were the most predominant ones, and it was almost enough to
make her take everything back, but she remained firm. She refused to ruin
either his or her life.
"I'm sorry, Edwin," she
apologized, her eyes beseeching him to understand, "but it's not going to
work. This status quo has to end. And I truly hope that you'll find someone who
will make you happy, but that someone is not me."
"Then why," he asked with a
broken voice when he realised she had finished talking, "did you say yes
in the first place?"
It was a simple answer, but once again it
was one she knew he wouldn't understand the true significance of.
"Because it was expected of me,"
she answered simply.
She turned around again to leave, and this
time Edwin did nothing to stop her. Walking away from him hurt a lot more than
she had thought it would, but Lyra didn't falter. As much as it hurt, she knew
it was the right thing to do.
She only hoped that one day, he might
understand, and maybe even forgive her, if only just a little.
_~...~_
Lyra sat on her bed, silently watching the
familiar eerie light from the Full Moon streaming through her windows.
Tomorrow, she knew, the town would be awash with the news that she had left
Edwin at the altar, but tonight, she didn't care. She had made her decision.
Tomorrow, she'll leave Sunset Valley and go look for a different life in a
different town. She had lived in this stagnant town one day too many.
To her relief, no one in her family had
begrudged her her decision. Her mother had simply hugged her and told her that
she'd support her no matter what happened, and while Arienne had made a snide
remark or two about the failed wedding, she too had admitted that she couldn't
really see Lyra happy in Sunset Valley. It was an immense relief, having her
family's support. She was finally feeling that the broken bonds in her family
were slowly being repaired. Seeing both Renard and Arienne standing in the
living room at the same time without fighting had definitely left her
with a feeling of hope.
It was the right choice, she knew. She'd
miss Sunset Valley, but she'd never be happy if she stayed.
The sound of soft music intruded into her
thoughts, making her frown slightly. It was very late in the night (or very
early in the morning, depending on how one looked at it), and she knew her
mother was already asleep, so she shouldn't be hearing music. She was pretty
sure the stereo in the living room had been turned off when her mother had gone
to sleep.
Curious, she got up to investigate, not
even bothering to smooth out the creases from her clothes.
The house was eerily quiet as she made her
way downstairs, and for some reason the house seemed even more desolate than
ever. She almost wished for someone, anyone, to appear, only so the house would
feel a bit more lived in. But it was a futile wish, and the house remained
quiet. Not even Charlotte appeared.
Downstairs, the stereo was off, like she
had expected, but she could still hear music. It was definitely coming
from the direction of the lake beside their house. Someone was singing into the
night, with a voice that reminded Lyra of silver notes and a gentle autumn
breeze. She went outside, trying to figure out who was singing.
It was Charlotte. Why had she never
realised what a beautiful voice the ghost had? She didn't understand the words
the ghost was singing, but she was singing with such emotion that it brought
tears to Lyra's eyes. She walked closer to the ghost, illogically desiring to
comfort her.
The sound of her steps must have alerted
the ghost, as the song was suddenly cut off abruptly. Charlotte turned around
startledly, her colourless eyes wide with surprise.
"No!" the ghost exclaimed.
"Don't come -"
Her words were silenced in the explosion of
light that suddenly enveloped them. Before she could do anything, tendrils of something
wrapped around Lyra and jerked her off her feet. She cried out in alarm and
clenched her eyes shut against the bright light, wondering just what the
hell was going on.
She fell hard on the ground, the impact
jarring the air from her lungs. Beside her, she heard someone breathing hard,
trying to get back air in their lungs as well. She opened her eyes cautiously,
ready to close them in case the bright light was still present, but the sight
that greeted her caused her to shoot upright, staring at her surroundings in
bewilderment.
She was not at the lake beside her
house. In fact, she was pretty sure there was nowhere in Sunset Valley
that looked like the scene in front of her. Even the moon looked
different.
...What exactly had just happened?
And where the hell was she?!
_~...~_
A/N: This chapter was written before my save file went corrupt (I just didn’t have the shots yet), so don’t be surprised if some discrepancies appear in the future, or if I fail to mention something again. I deleted both Renard and Arienne’s spouses in the poser save, so…they’re not married anymore. I want to bring the two of them along to the new world, but I don’t really know how to justify it in the story. :/
Edwin deserves someone better than Lyra :(.
For the longest I debated whether I wanted them to end up together or not, but
in the end my original idea won out instead. I feel bad for Edwin and I like
them as a couple, but Lyra has bigger things waiting for her, so they can't be
together. At least, not in this save. I think I'm going to pop the two of them
into my play-for-fun legacy save to give them a chance to be together.
And as to why that conversation had to
happen at their wedding and not earlier…well, I wanted to see Lyra in a wedding
dress. >_<
Oh yeah, the world I used in the last shot
is a really beautiful custom world called Howell Island. I found it…on a site
that’s apparently dead now. :/ It’s not the world I’m going to be moving my
family to; it’s just a tad bit too small for that. I’m just going to use it
until I’m done with the upcoming arc. Then it’s onwards to…hmm. I haven’t
really decided yet. Probably Dragon Valley, although Aurora Skies and Hidden
Springs are also good candidates…
